A sharing from Evelyn
When the son of man comes again, will he find faith? Luke 18:8
This verse/question has been in my mind for the past few months, and at the same time I also noticed that ever since beginning of this year, we (the church) have been talking a lot on faith. We have spoken in great length on Abraham’s faith or even during the recent baptism – I remember Ps Kwan Loong making this statement that – he is concerned whether these newly baptized brothers and sisters will endure till the end?
So, is this just a coincidence or is the Lord trying to tell me something? I must admit that till today, I still do not have the full answer to this question. However, since this question have been in my mind for sometime, I have since try to meditate on this and I would like to share some of my preliminary thoughts with all.
Nowadays, when I look around me, when I read the newspapers & watched the TV, everything seems to be so negative – recession, war, increased in crime rates …etc.
The stress levels are high – people are constantly having the feeling of anxiety, no one seems to know what the future would be – how long will this economy situation last – will there ever be peace – seeing that tension is high among countries like Israel and Palestine, North Korea & South Korea, China & Tibet and etc
In short everything is so uncertain! It reminds me of the scenario written in the bible regarding end times. The bible has clearly written that before the Lord comes back again, there will be great distress, there will be increased in lawlessness, there will be war and rumors of war and in Matt 24:12 – the love of many will grow cold, Rev 2:4 – the church in Ephesus – it is stated that they have forsaken their first love.
So, is this the reason why the Lord gave me this question to ponder – to reflect on so that I can use this question to gauge where I am in my Christian life now?
Am I affected by the things/happenings around me? How’s my faith in Him today?
Well, when I looked back at the 1st day I became a Christian (more than 10 years ago) – I had made this pledge in my baptism vow – That I will remain faithful to Him even unto death. During that time I was very certain that I could do it and being really on fire for the Lord, I had this feeling that nothing can ever change this ‘fire’ but, the reality is, after coming out to work and being independent, I find that slowly, day after day I began to drift away. Obviously, at that time I was not aware. Looking back, I think I was more depending on myself, pursuing the world than to really care about ‘increasing’ my faith in the Lord. I was looking at ways to increase my market value and to climb the corporate ladder instead.
However, for the past 6 years, my faith in the Lord was really put to the test.
About 6 years ago, I begin going out with Kah Leong, who was not a Christian and has no intention to be one. I knew that this was not right but I continue on. I even told myself that since I’m not marrying him now, it’s OK. I can still continue to have this relationship. However, during this time, we had lots and lots of argument when it comes to religion. Being a non-Christian at that time, Kah Leong will always tell me, why can’t both of us have a different religion and still be together. He has even quoted examples of Christians marrying a non-Christian. I must admit that, sometimes, I’m tempted to agree with him, but Thank God, every time I have this thought, I was always reminded of my vow to the Lord – to remain faithful to Him even unto death, and so because of this I will stand strong (it’s easier said now but in reality there were a lot of struggles that I had to go through – not that easy to do).
Both of us have refused to give in and this whole episode had caused a lot of stress and anguished for both of us until one day we decided to call it off and let the Lord decide on our future. From that day onwards, I prayed very diligently that – God will speak to Kah Leong and most importantly God will continue to have mercy on me – His unworthy child.
Looking back, this reminds me of the parable of the Persistent widow (Luke 18:1 – 8) but I have to confess that I’m not 100% like the widow here – I was only 50%, not because I don’t have the faith but because I was struggling with another problem! Unworthiness.
Am I worthy to ask? – Did I not go against the Lord first? I was not sure if the Lord will hear my prayer.
So when Kah Leong finally came to the Lord, It was truly a prayer answered for an unworthy child and a valuable lesson learnt. Had I given in and left the faith, Kah Leong may not have come to know the Lord and I will, most probably not be here to share this with you.
As a summary, the important lessons that I have learnt throughout all this time is:
In order for the Lord to find us faithful – we have to constantly and diligently seek after him no matter how hard the situation is. We may not always know everything. However, one thing that we need to know is the importance of clinging onto Him until we fully understand / until He answers.
Always remember our first love. If not for my baptism pledge, I would have left the faith.
Ask without shame. If we look at the widow, she continued to seek even after the judge ignored her initially. When we seek, although we do feel unworthy but we must continue to have the humility to seek God and cling on to Him till He answers us.
Lastly, I sincerely and earnestly pray that when the Lord comes back again, he will find each and every one of us faithful. In the meantime, please cling on to him and don’t let go.